Mamas.. and Dads.. I came across an article today that really struck me.. stop for a second and read it here.. THIS is why I have been getting on FB and IG and doing random videos of my life.. this is why I share.. this is why I want you to see me.. this is what we need more of..real life. Self care is amazing, self care is something I just recently learned to do.. and it helps, it does, but sometimes, a lot of times it's just not enough and I find myself feeling guilty that it's still not enough and yet here I sit, still struggling.
This article talks about self care, and that it's just not enough, that we need to show up for each other, we need to be there, we need to see each other. I'll admit, I don't do enough of that. During the good times, am I reaching out more to my friends and my village to show them that I am here for them just as much as I need them to be here for me? Probably not, dang it. But there I go.. just one more thing to add to my anxiety bucket that I am not doing enough of. When will we stop! Stop feeling so dang guilty of what we are or what we aren't doing, for ourselves, for our friends, for our kids, for our husbands, wives and bosses.
Here are just a few of the things that related to my anxiety and my burnout that I grabbed from this read...
There is no bubble bath that will hush the constant underlying buzz of anxiety.
Although Lush is amazing, the stress is still there when I get out. It's no ones fault, Chris let's me go take a bath, I have the time, but most of the time it's just too daunting to even think about going through all of it.
There is no girls-weekend-away that will undo the isolation of a fourth trimester spent without a village.
One, I have never had or been invited or invited friends on a girl weekend. Two, I have a very small village that is here in person.. I have a huge online village, and a huge family on both mine and Chris's side don't get me wrong.. but as far as people here that have come over, that have seen me, that have held the baby, that have made a point of showing me in person that they see me.. it's very small.. sorry, just being real. Maybe I have isolated myself. Maybe this is my fault. Maybe if I didn't have such a resting B face. Maybe if I went to more playdates. Maybe if I asked for help more. But maybe I need to stop feeling guilty about who didn't come over, who didn't celebrate our new baby, who didn't come and soak up her newborn goodness and realize that everyone else is just living their lives too. They see me, all be it online, but they see us, they see her sweet pictures, they support and love us, they just couldn't quite make it over in time. And that girls weekend, ehh it will happen one day.
There is no nap that will revive the energy poured into balancing a career with motherhood.
Nope, still tired when I wake up. Lets face it, no amount of nap can help right now. And yes I have a career, I have 3 businesses, I have dreams and aspirations and big goals for my life. Being a Mommy is #1.. but the rest are all important too.
There is no glass of wine that will ease the accumulating effect of all the ailments we "haven't had time to see a doctor about."
I don't drink wine, but I did forget about that follow up ultrasound for the concerning lymph nodes. Damn it.
Society is asking you to nurture in an environment that does not nurture you back.
Ouch.. not much to say to this one. But again, maybe this leads me back to my village part, maybe it's the way that I am looking at society not nurturing me that is making me feel like it isn't nurturing me. You still following me there?
You are burnt out because you eat leftover goldfish and sandwich crusts for lunch.
Or Ben & Jerry's.. oh hello 8lbs that I put back on since Chris was in the hospital.
You are burnt out because you are constantly juggling the pressure to spend ample time being truly present with your child with the pressure to have a clean and decluttered home.
It's never clean. Let's face it, it's the end of the school year, I have a 12, 7 and 9 month old and we're just done. I let them play too much xbox. I scroll through social media too much. We're just done.
You are burnt out because you after a day of constant toddler-touching, you feel like you should be fresh, sexy, and available for your partner.
Ouch sorry my love.
You are burnt out because not a day goes by without something reminding you of the baby weight you still haven't lost. Of that perfect body lost.
My body isn't mine anymore.. it's some weird thing I don't recognize and it belongs to Marlee.
You are burnt out because no matter how many coupons you cut, how many vacations you don't take, you still can't find a way to dig yourself out of debt.
Or how hard you work, how many dryer balls you make or things you paint.. it just isn't ever enough. But back to my dreams, I'll get there. It may not be today, but I guarantee I will do one thing that will be for the betterment of that dream!
I guess all in all what I am trying to say here is we are all struggling. Go enjoy that bath. But don't expect it to heal your world. Go hold a friends baby. Go tell her you are not going to judge her big pile of laundry, but help her fold it, or hold the baby while she does. I can't tell you how many things I can get done in 30 minutes while someone holds Marlee for me. It's amazing! Just show up. Be present in each others lives. But if you can't at the moment that's OK too. Be kind to yourself today!
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